Stop Obsessing Over Nutrition Rules, They’re Not Helping You

It takes a heightened level of dedication and a bit of obsession to achieve the lean look of a bikini model, fitness model or any other kind of model whose job it is to look that way. If that’s your goal, then this article might not be for you. If you’re not stepping on stage any time soon, if you’re simply trying to add some health to your life, to feel better and maybe drop a few pounds, this article is for you.

Like you, my fitness goals have changed over the years. Fifteen years ago, I wanted to be strong and limber enough to compete in my favorite sports: gymnastics and volleyball. It wasn’t an obsession, it was fun. Ten years ago, I wanted to be as thin as possible and I obsessed over eating as little as possible and doing a ton of cardio to achieve that. Five years ago I thought I wanted to get into fitness competitions and my obsession turned to macros, pre-workout and bodybuilding splits. Today, I want to be as fit and functional as possible while still allowing myself to unashamedly eat, work out and live without obsession and guilt dictating my moves.

Related post: Why I Choose Not To Diet

If you’re still reading, my guess is that you can relate to this 360-degree about-face of goals. We start life without any idea of cultural perceptions and the body-shame that comes with that. We grow up and start believing that we need to look, eat and be a certain way so we go through a bunch of shitty feelings and diets to try to achieve that. Then, once we’ve had enough, we realize that our 12 year-old selves had it right…the only obsession we should have is with having fun, feeling awesome and being able to do whatever it is our body’s want to do.

 Believe it or not, what that takes is FORGETTING the nutrition rules and food obsessions you’ve been hiding behind.

Scary? Yep. Change is always scary. Dropping the comfort blanket of diet rules is like shedding a warm blanket covering your naked body. But the liberation that comes from that? So worth it.

Here’s what I tell everyone of my client’s when we’re talking about making diet changes:

Do it for a week. If you hate it, if it absolutely sucks and you suddenly gain ten pounds, you can always stop.

Stop giving food power

For years after recovering from anorexia, every time I ate I felt this sense of anxiety and urgency. Like if I didn’t eat this food now, this food that I hadn’t allowed myself in years, I was never going to get it again. When we don’t allow ourselves the right to food or to a certain food, that forbidden thing becomes an obsession. We think about it, we waste will-power shaming ourselves for even wanting it, and so when we’re presented with it we can’t help but devour it. So starts the cycle of guilt, setting down rules and feeling anxious all over again.

Here’s the reality: saying “yes” or “no” in the moment is NOT saying “yes” or “no” forever. Don’t give that decision, or that food, that kind of power. The next time you feel anxious about finishing the bread or cleaning your plate or the piece of cake on your dessert plate, let yourself believe that you are 100% allowed to have it, if you want it.

As soon as you transfer the power of that decision from your plate to your person, “not today” becomes easier to say. You KNOW that you can have it tomorrow if you want it. You can have it every day for the rest of your life if you want it! But it doesn’t control you and as soon as you take that power back, the forbidden food is much less enticing.

Relax about counting calories

Here’s the scary reality about counting calories: your count can be off by as much as 25%. Here’s the fantastic truth about counting calories: if your goals fall in the realm of losing some weight, improving your fitness level and health markers and gaining energy, you don’t need to count calories.

The errors in calorie counting start in the lab and continue to the grocery store shelf, compound in your body and measuring spoons and finally leave themselves to human error in whatever calorie counting app or book or website you use. Your body does not burn calories the same way lab equipment does. A food manufacturer can make labeling mistakes. Your “medium” apple is smaller than my “medium” apple. Your body digests your medium apple differently than mine does because you worked out differently, your digestive system is healthier than mine, you’re genetically predisposition to have a hard time breaking down apples. The person who entered the calorie count for the ingredients you selected in the food journal app pressed 100 instead of 10…

Convinced?

Instead of focusing on counting calories, count quality. Buy food that doesn’t come with a nutrition label because everyone and their grandmother would recognize what it is. Count servings of vegetables and protein instead of grams of saturated fat. All you need is your hand and some basic math skills. You might never forget how many calories are in one egg and a half cup of oatmeal, but you’ll start to recognize them as an egg and oatmeal again, instead of calories and grams of fat. That’s a win.

Eat when you are hungry

I used to eat breakfast every morning, whether I was hungry or not. I’ve believed in the power of breakfast – breaking the fast, nutritious breakfast foods, keeps you full until lunch time, and all that. And while I still believe that breakfast is an important meal, my belief in listening to your body is bigger. And sometimes my body isn’t hungry – so I don’t eat.

Your body doesn’t know what time it is. It doesn’t get hungry just because the clock is clicking closer to noon. If you eat lunch at noon every day, that’s a behavioral decision, not a physiological reaction. Furthermore, your body doesn’t know that you have half a sandwich left. If you’re full and continue to clear your plate, that’s a behavioral decision, not a physiological reaction.

I started practicing intermittent fasting last summer. A couple of times a week, I skip breakfast and wait until lunch to eat. At first, I was nervous that come lunch, I’d ravenously eat everything in sight. I thought (in large part because I’d adopted this diet rule that told me that if I didn’t eat every 3-4 hours, I’d surely make poor decisions when I finally did eat), that I would lose control come lunch time. I was, happily, wrong.

Intermittent fasting has taught me to listen to my body. It has taught me that being hungry does not a) automatically mean I will lose control and b) isn’t going to end the world. I can determine what is hunger and what is boredom. And I have the ability to make eating decisions based on that determination.

Am I suggesting that you intermittent fast? Not necessarily. It’s not for everyone, though I do believe in experimentation so if you want to know more, message me. What I’m suggesting is that you start to trust that your body will tell you what it needs. Trust is an amazing quality. This is especially true if you are also focusing on eating real, quality food with real nutrients that your body needs instead of junk food with added sugars and fats that throws your body for a loop.

Commit to healthy habits, not to diet rules

Healthy habits are commitments that, given time, become effortless. Like any habit, the point (by definition), is that you don’t have to think about doing it. These aren’t steadfast rules that are meant to flip your world upside down and take enormous amounts of will power to achieve. These are small efforts that make a big impact over time.

Your healthy habits will be different from mine because we are different people. Your healthy habits are created and defined by the way you live your life now, NOT by the meal-prep-clean-eating-paid-to-be-jacked way your fitness idol lives her life. Choose habits that, on a “I can do this” scale of 1-10 (1 being hell no and 10 being hell yeah), you are as confident as a 9-10. If you aren’t at a 9-10, scale back the habit.

For example, one of my healthy habits is to drink 126 ounces of water each day. Consuming water is a universally healthy habit but the particulars are mine – they’re based on my size, my workouts, what I’ve worked up to and the fact that my water bottle is 42 ounces and drinking 3 feels doable.

You might read this and think “I could never do that! 126 ounces of water gives me a confidence level of like, 2-3”. So you adjust. Maybe you begin with 80 ounces of water, or 42 ounces per day. If you still aren’t confident, maybe your commitment is to exchange one non-water drink per day with water.

If you’re interested in using this technique to drive your fitness forward and abandon food obsessions and guilt, click the image below. I do online and in-person nutrition coaching and use these kinds of techniques daily!

Realize that it’s not what you do today that matters most, it’s what you do consistently over time

Every magazine that blasts “lose 10 pounds in 20 days” and “4 weeks to 6 pack abs” across their cover, amplifies the idea that getting fit is something that happens overnight. That we can set huge goals and if we just eat perfectly and make no mistakes, ever, we can reach them in a matter of weeks. That sentiment is simply untrue and unfair.

I’m fully aware that this sounds cliché but I’m going to say it anyways…fitness is a journey. You don’t live at the end goal; you live now, on the journey.

Eating a slice of pizza today will not derail you, just as doing one workout today will not make you ripped. Eating a slice of pizza every day for the next 4 months might slow your progress. Working out 5 times a week for the next 4 months? Will definitely help you get healthier.

Each day presents you with the opportunity of choice. Every time you make a decision that is healthy and you-focused, that’s a step in the right direction. If you don’t make the healthiest choice, don’t let it eat you up. Move on. Make a healthier choice next time.

Enjoy eating

You don’t eat calories. You don’t savor macros. You don’t linger over a long lunch of servings of protein and vitamin A with friends. Focusing obsessively on these things takes all of the joy out of food and eating and cooking. And if theirs is anything that food is, it is joy.

When I was sick, eating was terrifying. Anorexia made eating an experience unlike any that I’d had before. Gradually, restaurants and family dinners became something I feared. I remember one summer night sitting on the patio with my family, laughing and chatting until my brother, fully aware of my sickness and fears, asked me to take a bite of my burger. I’m not sure if I thought I was getting away with not eating, but his words, said as a kind plea to get me to eat, released a flood of tears. Food, for an anorexic, is not about enjoyment or nourishment. It’s the enemy. It took me years to get back to a place where food is about joy.

Food has brought people together for as long as we’ve existed. It connects us to our heritage, to our surroundings and to our loved ones. It should be enjoyed. And though hopefully you have never and don’t ever feel that strong of a reaction to food fear and guilt, my story might stir something in the pit of your stomach that understands.

Does enjoying your meal automatically imply that you pay zero attention to what’s on your plate? Absolutely not. That’s not healthy either. What it means is that during holiday dinners don’t worry about your macros. If your mom makes your great grandmothers baklava and you love it, eat it! Savor it, be in the moment and do not be anxious or scared of that.

 

I’m a firm believer in the power of healthy habits and making small changes that add up to big transformations. That’s why I launched the Best Self Challenge in January. It’s still happening, still helping women make small changes to their daily lives that by December 31st, will have added up to some massive transformations. If you’re interested, get involved for free below.