Acceptance First

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I can change”. – Carl Rogers

Change. Progress. Momentum. Transformation. #bestself.

We use these kinds of words and phrases, hash-tagged and unhash-tagged, as motivation. We say them and write them and use them to inspire ourselves to get to the gym, do yoga, eat healthy meals and change our bodies from what we have to what we want.

We work to make progress. Momentum makes us feel alive, like we’re moving forward. We want to transform the person we are today into the best form of that person we can possibly be. That requires change.

So we make lists of what we want to be different and decide on the things that we must do and must not do to get where we want to be. That’s good. Goals work. Plans work. But they aren’t the first step.

The first step is accepting who you are today, now, in this moment.

That’s a tough concept.

We live in a society that makes it easier to look in the mirror and dislike what we see than look in the mirror and accept who we are. We find things to feel ashamed for instead of recognizing our own strength and beauty and light. Instead of accepting ourselves, we judge ourselves based on what we’ve learned is the ideal. We focus on what we are not, on what we don’t have, on where we’ve never been. We look for perfection at all times instead of recognizing our humanness and the lack of perfection that condition demands.

That energy that we spend on self-negativity? Useless. Worse than useless — detrimental.

Today, try to spend that energy on accepting who you are right now.

Today, look in the mirror and appreciate your reflection.

Today, live each moment as it comes without wishing that it was bigger, better or a different moment entirely.

Today, accept that where you are and who you are is enough.

When you do that, you let go of the negativity. Your focus moves inwards – to your being instead of the outside world.

Then … then change sneaks up on you naturally and fluidly.

In accepting yourself as you are today, you release guilt, you release judgement, you release negativity. What’s left when you let those things go is an openness, a vulnerability to accept your next step, and the one after that without judging whether it was the right one.

Today, be strong and bold and confident in who you are. That is the most massive and life changing transformation you could ask for.